I’m Crowdsourcing!

Wanna give me all your great ideas, please?

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash
  1. Find where I put my junk food.
  2. Blowdry my hair. (Could you start with giving it a brush? It’s been 53 weeks.)
  3. Do the dishes. My kids refuse and I used a measuring cup for coffee this morning that I used for “water” last night.
  4. Change the channel. I dropped the remote.
  5. Make the bed. I’m pretty sure I left a Snickers in there somewhere and I don’t want my husband to find it first.
  6. Pay my therapist to talk about growing up in a small town.
  7. Buy me more avocados. These ones are overripe.
  8. Dust. That’s still a thing people do, right?
  9. Walk my dog. I’m just over it already.
  10. Shovel my driveway, mow my lawn, plant my annuals. I have no idea what it’s doing out there, but I’m sure it needs a little TLC.
  11. Take out my Christmas tree. I think it’s cooked.
  12. Wash my floors. I forget what color tile is in the kids' bathroom. I think it’s blue, but until you help, I can’t be sure. I want to buy new bathmats but they need to match the clean version of the floor. (PS: Throw out old bathmats.)
  13. Make dinner. Not tacos! I can do that shit myself.
  14. Can you check on my kids? They’re in here somewhere.

Mother. Satirist. My middle finger is my favorite. I stare out the window to create. Editing my first manuscript— which is why I’m spending time here.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store