All new categories to inspire you

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

So you didn’t have anything amazing to say about Death, Work, Space, or — what was that last category again? Right! — Reentry. We’ll admit that last one was a miss. Oh, well.

Drum roll, please! We are giving you plenty of time to write for our 2022 contest. The…


Why the fuck do you want to hang me on the wall?

Now, where did that last piece go? Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

Put me back in the fucking box!

We’ve had fun, haven’t we? Like the time you left my outer edges completed and unattended for three weeks on the dining room table. …


Read the Meeting Minutes of the Kopi Luwak executives

Photo edited by the author. Original by Vika Aleksandrova on Unsplash

BRAND DISCUSSION: Kopi Luwak Coffee Focus Group Transcripts

In attendance: Tracy (Secretary), Tyler (Product Team), Karen (Brand Manager), Cecil (Ad Agency Rep), The Civet

Meeting called to order at 3:07 pm by Karen, September 8, 2021

KAREN: Thanks for coming, everyone. The article in National Geographic describing how we derive…

Every day is a season

Photo by Jasmin Schuler on Unsplash

The PSL or pumpkin spiced latte is back at Starbucks with a reminder that fall is here. Sure, it’s not technically fall, but it’s not technically pumpkin spice either. …


Why is CNN not covering my journey?

Puffy. My one true love. Photo by Matt Bero on Unsplash

“A monkey-loving woman has been banned from visiting a male chimpanzee at a zoo in Antwerp, Belgium, after officials declared their relationship unhealthy for the animal’s socialization with other chimps.” — NY Post

Adie Timmermans, the woman banned from the Antwerp Zoo for starting a relationship with a chimp is…


A landmark class-action case in Washington heats up

Say goodbye to your youth. Growing up is a trap! Photo by Chris Hardy on Unsplash

WASHINGTON D.C. — Sarah Leavly is clutching a satin ribbon that looks to have once been attached to a blanket. She works the edges like a rosary. Around and around but it isn’t the Hail Mary she mutters. …

Sorry, but it’s true. The Canadians have this one right.

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

This may not be a popular opinion, but I’ve never been accused of being popular. Suck it cool kids’ table. But I’ll say it. Our Thanksgiving is better than yours and here’s why:

1. Canadian Thanksgiving is always a long weekend (the second Monday in October). You don’t have to…

Humorists are people too

Photo by Marten Newhall on Unsplash

I recently came across a post that invited people to add a comment if they needed followers. At the time I was at 86 followers and the deadline for the Partner Program was looming to get to 100.

I left a comment. Here it is.


Don’t suffer when you can cure yourself

Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

None of these are actually Joe Rogan’s advice. This is satire. The only way to prevent Covid is to get the vaccine, wear a mask, listen to people who have studied viruses for years, and don’t be a fucking idiot.

Since Joe Rogan’s recovery from the non-virus, his thirteen million…


Karate Kid was a lie

Paint the Fence. Up Down. Up Down. Photo by Randy Fath on Unsplash

I binged Cobra Kai then went back and watched all the Karate Kid movies including the stupid ones that weren’t the first one. I had all the instructions I needed to be badass.

I waxed my car like it was the 1950s. I sanded the floor, even though it was…

Kristine Laco

My middle finger is my favorite. Hoarding toilet paper since 2014.

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