45 Parenting Problems Solved by #45
If you take the outgoing President’s words, his ideas, his philosophies, and apply them to parenting, you have a rich tapestry of useless advice to bring to your home. Who better to parent our children than a child himself? So if you have a parenting problem, go no further than former President (that sounds good, doesn’t it?!) for your solution.*
And because I can’t stress this enough… This is satire. Do NOT use these parenting tips or repeat anything uttered by the Cheeto in Charge to your children. These are quotes or views expressed by the outgoing President during his time in office, presented here to highlight the ridiculousness of his views. Not like we needed the reminder, but in a different context, maybe some of the 73,790,979 people who felt he was good for the country for another four years, might see something new.
*WARNING: Using these parenting techniques will cause narcissistic personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, and histrionic personality disorder. They will also cause xenophobia, sexism, racism, sadism, insurrection, corruption, and possible (crossing fingers) incarceration.
#1 “Jimmy said I don’t look American.”
Tell Jimmy he’s from Kenya. I know it. He knows it. We all know it.
